This is a blog. I am 17. Ergo, this is a blog written by a teenager and, as my headliner so aptly indicates, there will be angst-ridden, hate-filled, even hormonally instigated words throughout this website. Additionally, there will be grammatical slaughter amongst my words, so I apologize in advance.
One: You underestimate what I feel. You are unaware of the four-year heart that has hardened and calloused because of the knowledge of the immense disappointment I carry home with me. I bring nothing to the table - no talent, no achievement, no credentials with which you can delightfully tell your friends and our family. You are not proud of me, I know this much, but I would not be proud of myself either if I were you (I am not currently proud of myself either).
It is not only my sub-par academic performance that renders you so disappointed with what I've become; it is my extreme independence and my choice to openly express myself. I am a disappointing individualist who emerges too loudly from a family-oriented culture and a collectivist last name. I speak too loudly or too softly. I am tolerant of my own persona, yet I am constantly and vividly aware that I am the incorrect piece lost in a large puzzle. I do not fit in. I am okay with this; you are not. I am sorry - it will be over when I leave in five months.
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